Marriage and Moi! Seriously!

Unrealistic Relationship Dreamer

Today’s topic is quiet interesting for me. I am freewheeling on a topic that I started, restarted, pressed the clutch, scrambled for the accelerator, and my machine went dead, tried the reviving, then perspiring, often puzzling over what went wrong on the initial Mega Scale Future Plan! Now I am left clueless till date!

There hasn’t been a moment without a surprise for me. Around my childhood, I did not have much of the father figure around, and as a child you only cared about what your sister held and you wanted that, it was non-negotiable! It is mine, that which is in her hands! No questions asked.

Even today sometimes, while I happily pick the best similar floral patterned piece and give her that which is best according to me. I still feel hers was better than mine. This is generally only for her dresses and accessories. And she thinks mine is better than hers. Sistas! Non-Stop Nonsense.

We are like the Amazon Prime subscription, where we discount and matchup emotions distance be damned! This is fun of having sisters who are at your age level group. By the way, I am the eldest between us. But she is the more mature while I am still stuck at four really!

Initial Days of the Topic | Marriage

In my secondary school Marriage meant huge sweating function and the relief was the huge fan and if you are unlucky, the elders of the house would have already captured the chairs placed near the fan.

In senior secondary school Marriage is 8 letter word but just adds one word to the 500 words essay. It is not long enough, not studied enough, no wrong choice leading to deduction of mark so forget it. After 10th Public there was a breather but which group will I get. Now in this state Marriage attending tension can be put away with preparing for the publics!

In High School, I felt my mother would be a better selector of a person for me. I focused in learning new language French! Yoohoo. Of course started to read romances with total disregard that it is not the real-life in the pages.

Swinging Twenties!

The wild tango of 20’s meant revolutionary thoughts and disregard for conforming to social confirmation. I rebelled in my college but still felt mother could do a better job of picking me the right guy.

Interesting thing is that I had an opinion on relationship. Poured over the Linda Goodman Sun Signs, Star Signs, Relationship Signs, and kept seeing people turn into Sun signs from their natal chart details.

It became a great source to experiment with which signs goes well with which other signs. Naturally, I had a hilarious time comparing and trying to detect which sign would be best for me.

That is when my relationship with my mother was really great and I felt maybe her sign would be the best bet. I even told her that when I was in mid-twenties.

Where Is the True Compatibility? Seriously!

In my late-twenties I still had full faith in the institution of arranged marriage and not a single doubt entered my mind that such a marriage might not work. So, I was the Jhansi ki Rani, said okay under 24 hours.

Natal chart match my foot! We had no common interest, hobbies, or majors in common. But I still naively believed it would work, if I worked hard and kept silent and be obedient like a doormat. Didn’t work at all! Where there is no equal say, you are just barking up the wrong tree!

This reminded of the Japanese TV Mini Series that I finished watching, “I’m Taking a Day Off” where a side main role and the main female lead converse and she states matter of factly, “both of us were monkeys and dogs. No match there for you.” as per translation in Netflix.

Yet, the devoted wife’s oscar was taken away by the next continent upstart, who else?! 😉 The thought to divorce was the right choice, but I wanted to be in Chennai during the period not out of sight and sound in CA.

Of course, the Indian Family court was so moved by the ex-spouse’s appeal and re-appeal and it was settled off with heavy emotional loss on my side. For money can be earned, but not invested emotions for once it is wasted, then it is wasted for life. Well freedom always comes at a price!! Nothing new there!

Heading Towards Fifty Solo Traveler

All my college days verve is in the uprise and are the motivator for all that I do or I don’t do. The year 2010 – 2023 has been one interesting move to understand relationship a lot better than my naive views of twenties.

My pink tint has been removed rudely but the child in me is still hopeful. Sometimes some of us are married for more than 40-50 years together. I have seen such marriages too in my family and extended ones too! Of course, nothing is smooth about them. Even today, if I see couples fighting, I smile and nod my head in respect for couple in hanging out till the very end.

Ditcher are not pitcher for a long career in baseball. I say the game plan of life is how you are willing to play for keeps. Well I missed that boat and accuse no one but my choice. It takes great skill to know who is a friend for keeps and who is a ditcher in the midway of life!